tested positive for depression
negative for anxiety
so my life is half ruined
Friday, August 6, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
im back
anyway, as the blog challenge dictates, now is the time for my blog name meaning.
Well its a pun, between angst and fantastic.
blogs are mainly angst, but i wanted mine to be more fantastic.
thus, name was born.
Today I feel like ive been betrayed. that is all.
Well its a pun, between angst and fantastic.
blogs are mainly angst, but i wanted mine to be more fantastic.
thus, name was born.
Today I feel like ive been betrayed. that is all.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
also blog challenge
hey people, i feel like being a blogmonster. ragh. (who am i kidding, nobody is reading this)
hi renee, im sorry but i want to do this challenge too, im really at a loss with what to do with myself, and i find it a worthy distraction, so also, thank you very much :)
so yeah, day one, theres a photo from last wednesday, one of the least vomit-inducing ones i have,
but still get a bag, and if you already saw it, i apologize.
FACTS about christopher:
1. Despite what you may think, my self esteem is very low.
2. I attach myself to good things, and commit wholeheartedly to anything i love.
3. When im happy, im stupid.
4. When im sad, im smart.
5. I love being bare-foot.
6. I am fascinated by europeans.
7. I need a friend to talk to.
8. I can finally say that i like psychological thrillers, cause ive now seen some.
9. Feelings are one thing i would never lie about.
10. I wish i was good at maths.
11. I rode a toddler's bike until i was 9, because it was so familiar.
12. I never fail to see the good in people.
13. My dream jobs are artist, musician, actor, film director, childcarer and husband.
14. I have 150 different Norwegian songs.
15. I believe in fairytales.
so there are 15 things, some really dont count though, anywho heres the challenges:
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
this feeling i have
its like i want to knock over a tyrannosaurus with my head.
oh the visions of the future,
exams and such, seriously, half yearly essay before the first quarterly maths test? pah.
Feels like how Sarah Connor felt with visions of Skynet..
but also like Sarah Connor, who also knew John Connor would lead the human resistance to victory,
i have high hopes for the future beyond week 7...
summer without the burning = best.
just think about it, everyone dreams about summer during winter because we were free-er then and the sunshine made us cheery. but thoughts come without the 40° heat.
and since i feel like maths.
:. you could say,
winter + cheeriness and good times = best.
...
man i feel like i can ride these piano+guitar melodies
through the skies, on a rainbow.
_______________________________________________________
i spose nobody knows what im talking about.
oh the visions of the future,
exams and such, seriously, half yearly essay before the first quarterly maths test? pah.
Feels like how Sarah Connor felt with visions of Skynet..
but also like Sarah Connor, who also knew John Connor would lead the human resistance to victory,
i have high hopes for the future beyond week 7...
summer without the burning = best.
just think about it, everyone dreams about summer during winter because we were free-er then and the sunshine made us cheery. but thoughts come without the 40° heat.
and since i feel like maths.
:. you could say,
winter + cheeriness and good times = best.
...
man i feel like i can ride these piano+guitar melodies
through the skies, on a rainbow.
_______________________________________________________
i spose nobody knows what im talking about.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
here i am all dressed in snakeskin
i should i should i should blog.
but whenever i try, i feel like it should be some fantastical work of art.
so, reading over this, i realised none of it is.
and so, I am write again.
relay my thoughts.
you know when you just talk to somebody and you kinda take turns churning out thoughts/personal experience/opinions. you can learn more about a person in an hour than if you knew them as passers by and casual acquaintances for a whole year.
yet
in this day and age, it's only a matter of moving your fingers over the keyboard. I think i'm doing pretty well. I mean, most people i meet and become friends with, I mostly meet and talk to them in real life. and I mean friends, not 'friends', like on facebook.
to anybody who swam today:
Thank Mr Filewood's Year 9 Geography class.
The one with jono and such in it.
Without us there would have been no blue bands for anyone.
Trust me the job of sorting the notes and the rolls is TEDIOUS.
Until later,
Goodnight folks.
_____________________________________________
PS: I look forward to the kebabery/kebabary.
but whenever i try, i feel like it should be some fantastical work of art.
so, reading over this, i realised none of it is.
and so, I am write again.
relay my thoughts.
you know when you just talk to somebody and you kinda take turns churning out thoughts/personal experience/opinions. you can learn more about a person in an hour than if you knew them as passers by and casual acquaintances for a whole year.
yet
in this day and age, it's only a matter of moving your fingers over the keyboard. I think i'm doing pretty well. I mean, most people i meet and become friends with, I mostly meet and talk to them in real life. and I mean friends, not 'friends', like on facebook.
to anybody who swam today:
Thank Mr Filewood's Year 9 Geography class.
The one with jono and such in it.
Without us there would have been no blue bands for anyone.
Trust me the job of sorting the notes and the rolls is TEDIOUS.
Until later,
Goodnight folks.
_____________________________________________
PS: I look forward to the kebabery/kebabary.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
a little taste of what's beautiful
Warm days, warm nights.
The sky is the sun's home,
The moon hardly proves a fight.
I should have known.
When there is the most light,
Irony is, I'm blinded by it.
No illumination, I'm off by a slight
But hold on tight 'cause
The fate train changes lanes,
Not divine intervention, not God's rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
Take me to taste what's beautiful.
And I speed,
Don't make me a fool,
I am my own steed,
And to me, you're what's beautiful.
New start, New mind.
With a bang, celebrations.
With a bang, I find,
I'd better get in the line.
Another one, you're not far off.
Airtight, we could take flight,
I'm left behind and you're aloft.
I can't fly with you, we're not alright. and
The fate train changes lanes,
Not divine intervention, not God's rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
Take me to taste what's beautiful.
And I speed,
Don't make me a fool,
I'm my own steed,
And to me, you're what's beautiful.
Era ends. Era begins.
I wake up to find I'm next in the line.
The busy weeks and days spin.
The moon finally has its time to shine.
My head swims with thoughts of this,
Afternoon sun glows off your face,
Nobody else matters to us,
Our hearts beat to a new pace.
On the fate train's new lane,
The one that has emotions rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
It took me to taste what's beautiful.
Now I'm hooked,
Don't make me a fool,
Don't give the past a second look.
To me, you're what's beautiful.
No other thoughts to think or sights to see,
Just the two of us,
Walking off the other side of the bridge between,
Then and now.
The first steps towards what's beautiful.
Now we're what's beautiful.
___________________________________________
I need blog more.
The sky is the sun's home,
The moon hardly proves a fight.
I should have known.
When there is the most light,
Irony is, I'm blinded by it.
No illumination, I'm off by a slight
But hold on tight 'cause
The fate train changes lanes,
Not divine intervention, not God's rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
Take me to taste what's beautiful.
And I speed,
Don't make me a fool,
I am my own steed,
And to me, you're what's beautiful.
New start, New mind.
With a bang, celebrations.
With a bang, I find,
I'd better get in the line.
Another one, you're not far off.
Airtight, we could take flight,
I'm left behind and you're aloft.
I can't fly with you, we're not alright. and
The fate train changes lanes,
Not divine intervention, not God's rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
Take me to taste what's beautiful.
And I speed,
Don't make me a fool,
I'm my own steed,
And to me, you're what's beautiful.
Era ends. Era begins.
I wake up to find I'm next in the line.
The busy weeks and days spin.
The moon finally has its time to shine.
My head swims with thoughts of this,
Afternoon sun glows off your face,
Nobody else matters to us,
Our hearts beat to a new pace.
On the fate train's new lane,
The one that has emotions rule,
I'm the one who holds the reins,
It took me to taste what's beautiful.
Now I'm hooked,
Don't make me a fool,
Don't give the past a second look.
To me, you're what's beautiful.
No other thoughts to think or sights to see,
Just the two of us,
Walking off the other side of the bridge between,
Then and now.
The first steps towards what's beautiful.
Now we're what's beautiful.
___________________________________________
I need blog more.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
a little taste of what's terrible.
Here's something interesting, and I need to start blogging again:
___________________________________________________
"Step back,
From this world that's about to crack.
Look back,
When did life fall off the track?"
On the other side,
Nowhere but in myself to confide.
Surveyed events transpired for a sign,
How I tried.
To find the break in the line.
Have I lied?
I have nothing to hide.
Have I touched a nerve?
Hurting you is not the purpose I serve.
Mulled it over in my head,
You didn't hate me, you never said.
To not worry I had learned,
And I eagerly awaited my return.
On the fence between in and out,
It was your name I longed to shout.
Nothing more than you I yearned,
The passion inside burned.
___
"Step forward,
Into the world where you belong.
Look forward,
For the future is the last thing that can go wrong."
A smile slapped itself upon my dial,
As I landed back into reality.
But it was only a small while,
Before the end to the warm familiarity.
Welcome to animosity,
Take a look into the hypocrisy.
Shiver in the cold about,
Leave all happiness by the door on your way out.
"Why?!" I cried.
Why have you left my side?
How long was my mind in the past,
to make me see my future fading fast?
Too late it was when I realised,
Now that my whole life's been compromised,
That you have to grab life by the balls.
And that's just ONE of my flaws.
"How could I wake up from a dream,
And find myself in a nightmare?"
-Anonymous.
__________________________________________
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
___________________________________________________
"Step back,
From this world that's about to crack.
Look back,
When did life fall off the track?"
On the other side,
Nowhere but in myself to confide.
Surveyed events transpired for a sign,
How I tried.
To find the break in the line.
Have I lied?
I have nothing to hide.
Have I touched a nerve?
Hurting you is not the purpose I serve.
Mulled it over in my head,
You didn't hate me, you never said.
To not worry I had learned,
And I eagerly awaited my return.
On the fence between in and out,
It was your name I longed to shout.
Nothing more than you I yearned,
The passion inside burned.
___
"Step forward,
Into the world where you belong.
Look forward,
For the future is the last thing that can go wrong."
A smile slapped itself upon my dial,
As I landed back into reality.
But it was only a small while,
Before the end to the warm familiarity.
Welcome to animosity,
Take a look into the hypocrisy.
Shiver in the cold about,
Leave all happiness by the door on your way out.
"Why?!" I cried.
Why have you left my side?
How long was my mind in the past,
to make me see my future fading fast?
Too late it was when I realised,
Now that my whole life's been compromised,
That you have to grab life by the balls.
And that's just ONE of my flaws.
"How could I wake up from a dream,
And find myself in a nightmare?"
-Anonymous.
__________________________________________
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)